Who is Jack Schitt?



For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says "You dont know Jack Schitt!"

Well thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.



Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate and the owner of Needeep N Schitt Inc. married O.Phucque, who took on her husbands name. O.Schitt then gave birth to their only Son, Jack.



In turn Jack met Noe Whey and she became Noe Schitt. A deeply religious couple they produced six children; Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt and the twins Deep and Dip Schitt.



Against his parents wishes, Deep Schitt married Dumb Luck. Deep and Dumb Schitts marriage put a strain on Deep Schitts parents and Jack and Noe Schitt divorced after twenty years together. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock and, with her having custody of the Schitt children, she wanted to retain her previous married name. She became known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.



Meanwhile, Dip Schitt asked Loda Bollox to become Loda Schitt. They produced a son with rather a nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.



Of the other children Fula Schitt and Giva Schitt who were inseperable throughout childhood subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspapers told all the Schitt-Happens nuptials. Neither couple were to have children, just Schitt-Happens.



Bull Schitt, the prodical son, who left home to tour the world, recently returned home with an Italian bride, Pisa Schitt and three children Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse.



Their Irish cousin Crock OSchitt was a source for much of this information.



Now when someone says "You dont know Jack Schitt!" you can correct them.