Dear Diary Monday: What a wonderful cruise this will be. I was honoured tonight when the Captain invited me to dine at his table. Tuesday: Today I got to spend the entire afternoon on the bridge with the Captain. He explained everything. Diary, did you know that there are 1,262 passengers on this ship and he's responsible for everyone's comfort and safety. He is so charming. He invited me to dine at his table again tonight. Wednesday: The Captain saw me at the pool this afternoon and invited me to have dinner in his cabin. It's very cozy. We shared several great bottles of wine, too. While he made some amorous proposals, I stood firm. Thursday: Went to the ship's casino and won about $80. Tonight, more wine and intimacy. The Captain threatened to sink the ship if I do not give in to his requests. Friday: Diary, last night I saved 1,262 lives... twice!