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REDNECK OLYMPICS
Category:
Bloke Jokes
Rating:
0
Contributor:
ASBOMICK1
 JOKE TEXT


Redneck Olympics

Skipping Rocks
The oldest and most traditional of all Redneck games.
The heavy-weight division is most popular, as contestants
try to skip bricks.

Flinging
Originated by an ancient Redneck trying to clean his yard.
A great fling is not only a beautiful thing to
watch, but often it is accompanied by the exciting
sound of something breaking.

Rowing
Not the most popular sport because most Rednecks
agree that,
"If you can't afford a motor, you can't afford a boat."

Long Jump
This sport is a Redneck favorite, since they all own numerous sets
of jumper cables and all their
vehicles have dead or dying batteries.

Hog Calling
The good ones can bring a sow into Times Square using only their voice.
The great ones are often victims of sexual assault by live pork.

Tracking
We're not talking about anything as sissy as following a blood trail.
A good tracker can trail a grasshopper down the interstate.
A favorite put down in this sport is,
"You couldn't track a slug across a sheet of glass."

Field Hockey
Who can run the farthest through a cow pasture without stepping
in "you know what." A real exciting game when played at night with flashlights.

Bush Hogging For Distance
Put her in drive and hold on tight! A blatant disregard for
personal property is an essential for this game.

2x4 Relay
Originated at night on construction sites by people looking
to enlarge their homes at budget prices.



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