Offensive Jokes Logo
Offensive Jokes LOL
Offensive Jokes
Offensive Jokes
Offensive Jokes
Offensive Jokes Add an Offensive Joke Top Offensive Jokes Latest Offensive Jokes Search for Offensive Jokes Contact Offensive Jokes
Offensive Jokes Categories
JackpotCity Casino
Login
Register
Bloke Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Cartoons
Drink Jokes
Essex Jokes
Fat Jokes
Footy Jokes
Funny News
Funny Quotes
Girly Jokes
Golf Jokes
Husband Jokes
Irish Jokes
Job Jokes
Kids Jokes
Love Jokes
Mad Jokes
Medical Jokes
Office Jokes
One Liners
Pet Jokes
Photo Jokes
Police Jokes
Political Jokes
Religious Jokes
Sex Jokes
Sports Jokes
Wife Jokes
Women Jokes
Wrinklies Jokes
 

Joke Stuff

About Offensive Jokes 
Terms & Conditions 
 
Subscribe to our newletter.

Bookmark with;   Bookmark to: Digg   Bookmark to: Del.icio.us   Bookmark to: Facebook   Bookmark to: StumbleUpon   Bookmark to: Google   Bookmark to: Twitter

How to speak Essex
Category:
Essex Jokes
Rating:
5.00
Contributor:
D Harris
 JOKE TEXT
Safari Scratch

How to speak Essex !!



This is an invaluable guide......for those of you that are planning to venture into darkest depths of Essex .



A task not for the faint-hearted


alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item
amant - Quantity; sum total (Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend)
assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc
awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost (That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver tday)
branna - More brown than on a previous occasion (Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?)
cort a panda - A rather large hamburger
Dan in the maff - Unhappy (Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit Dan in the maff)
eye-eels - Womens shoes
Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre
garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs at go in the garrij cos it aint working proper)
Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island
lafarjik - Lacking in energy (I feel all lafarjik)
OI OI! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs
paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport
reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover (I couldnt elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig)
Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TVs, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday
tan - The city of London , the big smoke
webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. (Webbats is me dole card Trace? Ive gotta sign on in arf hour)
wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police
zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. (I told ya a fazzand times already)



No Image

Sitemap
Copyright Offensive Jokes 2006