Offensive Jokes Logo
Offensive Jokes LOL
Offensive Jokes
Offensive Jokes
Offensive Jokes
Offensive Jokes Add an Offensive Joke Top Offensive Jokes Latest Offensive Jokes Search for Offensive Jokes Contact Offensive Jokes
Offensive Jokes Categories
Login
Register
Bloke Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Cartoons
Drink Jokes
Essex Jokes
Fat Jokes
Footy Jokes
Funny News
Funny Quotes
Girly Jokes
Golf Jokes
Husband Jokes
Irish Jokes
Job Jokes
Kids Jokes
Love Jokes
Mad Jokes
Medical Jokes
Office Jokes
One Liners
Pet Jokes
Photo Jokes
Police Jokes
Political Jokes
Religious Jokes
Sex Jokes
Sports Jokes
Wife Jokes
Women Jokes
Wrinklies Jokes
 

Joke Stuff

About Offensive Jokes 
Terms & Conditions 
 
Subscribe to our newletter.

Bookmark with;   Bookmark to: Digg   Bookmark to: Del.icio.us   Bookmark to: Facebook   Bookmark to: StumbleUpon   Bookmark to: Google   Bookmark to: Twitter

I didn't know that......
Category:
Job Jokes
Rating:
0
Contributor:
D Harris
 JOKE TEXT




In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of
thumb".

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into
the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king in history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to
sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them
"Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used
the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.


~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow



No Image




Sitemap
Copyright Offensive Jokes 2006