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>> >>>>>DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>40-ish - 49
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Adventurous - Slept with everyone
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Athletic - No tits
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Average looking - Ugly
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Beautiful - Pathological liar
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Emotionally secure - On medication
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Feminist - Fat
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Free spirit - Junkie
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Fun - Annoying
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Open-minded - Desperate
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Passionate - Sloppy drunk
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Professional - Bitch
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Voluptuous - Very Fat
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Large frame - Hugely Fat
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>Wants Soul mate - Stalker
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>1. Yes = No
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>2. No = Yes
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>3. Maybe = No
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>4. We need = I want
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>7. Sure, go ahead = you'd better not
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think
>> about?
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>MEN'S ENGLISH
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>1. I am hungry = I am hungry
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>3. I am tired = I am tired
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>5. I love you = let's have sex now
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with
>> you
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>And finally.....
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>A recent scientific study found that women find
>> >>>>>different male faces attractive depending on where they are in
>> their
>> >>>>>menstrual cycle.
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a
>> >>>>>man with rugged, masculine features.
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man
>> >>>>>doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye
>> and a
>> >>>>>cricket stump shoved up his backside.
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>NOW SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR !!!!
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