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JoKeS
Category:
Kids Jokes
Rating:
0
Contributor:
D Harris
 JOKE TEXT


JoKeS



A teacher wrote on the blackboard: "Like I ain't had no fun in months." Then she asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"



One student raised his hand and said, "Get a boyfriend?"



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When Ross Perot speaks.. The world listens...



When advised that France had announced it would not assist, become allied

With or otherwise support the US in any war on Iraq, Ross Perot reportedly

Said:



"Having to go to war without France is sorta like having to go deer hunting without an accordion."



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"



The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water.



The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.



The woodcutter replied, "No."



The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.



Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."



The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.



The woodcutter replied, "Yes."



The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happily.



One day while he was walking with his wife along the riverbank, the woodcutter's wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord in appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"



"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"



The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.



"Yes," cried the woodcutter.



The Lord was furious. "You cheat! That is an untruth!"



The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.

You see, if I said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You will come up with Catherine

Zeta-Jones. Then if I also say 'no' to her, You will thirdly come up with my wife, and I will say 'yes,' and then all three will be given to me. But Lord, I am a poor man and I will not be able to take care of all three wives, so *that's* why I said yes this time."



The moral of the story is whenever a man lies it is always for an honorable and useful reason.



(Uh, yeah...sure....)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Little Tommy Can't Find The Bathroom



Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom.



So, Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick.



Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can't find it," he admitted.



The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way.



Well five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher, "I can't find it."



Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom.



So, Tommy and Billy go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks Tommy, "Well, did you find it?"



Tommy is quick with his reply, "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."



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