A modern day explorer has spent many days crossing the desert without water.
His horse has already died of thirst.
He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last
breath - when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the
sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what
looks to be an old brief case. He opens it and out pops a genie. But
this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing an Inland Revenue ID badge
and a dull grey dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has
pencil tucked behind one ear. "Well, mate," says the genie... "You know
how I work. You have three wishes." "I'm not falling for this", said
the explorer. "I'm not going to trust an Inland Revenue genie."
She smiled and said, "What do you have to lose? You've got no
transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!" The bloke
thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.
He said, "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and
drink."
***POOF***
The explorer finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever
seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of
delicacies.
The genie said, "OK, matey, what's your second wish."
"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."
***POOF***
The explorer finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
The genie said, "OK, chum, you have just one more wish. Better make
it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the explorer says... "I wish that
no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."
***POOF***
He turned into a tampon.


The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's a string attached.