Cool Things About Being a Man



> 1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

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> 2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

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> 3. Your last name stays put.

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> 4. The garage is all yours.

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> 5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

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> 6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

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> 7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

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> 8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

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> 9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

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>10. Same work .. More pay.

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>11. Wrinkles add character.

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>12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch

adjustments.

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>13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

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>14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

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>15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

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>16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

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>17. One mood, ALL the damn time.

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>18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

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>19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

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>20. You can open all your own jars.

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>21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

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>22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

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>23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

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>24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

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>25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

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>26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without

>ever thinking he must be mad at me."

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>27. No maxi-pads.

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>28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just

>might become lifelong friends.

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>29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

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>30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a

bolt.

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>31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes

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>32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

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>33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

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>34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons

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>35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

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>36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on

>December 24th, in six minutes.

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>37. The world is your urinal.

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>Ten Things men know for sure about women:

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>10. They have breasts.