TOP 5 SMART-ASS ANSWERS FOR 2004:



Smart Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the

departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for

the ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without

missing a beat....she said,

Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."



Smart Ass Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys

at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her

family.

She asked a stock boy,

"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy

replied," No ma'am,they're dead."





Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was

stopped for speeding

rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for

you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast

as I could." When the cop

finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his

way without a ticket.





Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the

freeway. A sign comes up that

reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it,

the bridge is right Ahead of

him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are

backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out

of his car and walks up to

the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and

says,"Got stuck,huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this

bridge and ran out of gas."



AND NOW........FOR .THE..........BEST ONE..........



#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR



A college teacher reminds her class of

tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't

tolerate any excuses for you

not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious

personal injury or illness, or a death in your

immediate family, but that's

it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy

in the back of the room

raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if

tomorrow I said I was

suffering from complete and utter sexual

exhaustion?" The entire class is

reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence

is finally restored, the

teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes

her head and sweetly says

"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with

your other hand."