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ARE YOU HAVIN A BAD DAY
Category:
Girly Jokes
Rating:
0
Contributor:
joker
 JOKE TEXT


ARE YOU HAVIN A BAD DAY??? WAIT

TILL YOU READ THIS....



INNER SKELETON

63 year old widow was admitted

to the hospital in Recife, Brazil,suffering

abdominal pains. X-rays showed

that she was carrying a 20inchlong skeleton

of a foetus which she conceived

a decade earlier. It had become lodged

outside the womb and was never

expelled from her body.



FEMALE SOFA

A 500lb(227Kg, or 35.5 stone!!!)

Woman from Illinois was examined in a

hospital. During the

examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her

armpit, a dime was found under

one of her breasts and a remote control was

found lodged between the folds

of her vulva.( hmmm is that where my remote's

gone)!!



PRICKLY PAIR OUCH!

In Michigan, a man came into the

ER with lacerations to his penis. He

complained that his wife had

"...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him

during sex (maybe not the first

conclusion I would have drawn!)

After an examination of his

wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical

needle left inside her after a

recent hysterectomy.



PING PONG ANYONE?

A 20 year old man came into the

ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said

that he and his boyfriend were

fooling around with concrete mix, then his

boyfriend had the idea of

pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel (as you do)?!!. The

concrete then hardened (no shit!), causing constipation and

pain. Under general anaesthesia,

a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a

ping pong ball. (Boy, have I led a sheltered life!)



BLIND DRUNK

A drunk staggered into a

Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while

trying to remove his contact

lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped

back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without

success. Finally, a doctor examined him and

discovered the man did not have

his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane

of his cornea.(O M G that's soooo gross!!!)



OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!

A couple hobbled into a

Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The

man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman

had hers around her head. They

eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for

a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the

table to administer oral sex to the man. (Classy or what?) While in the

act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the

man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation,

the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.



And you thought YOU were having

a bad day!!!



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