Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared

for the answer.



In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his

first

witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He

approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded,

"Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since

you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to

me.

You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about

them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you

haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more

than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across

the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence

attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley

since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a

drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and

his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not

to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of

them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defence attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a very

quiet voice, said, "If either of you b@st@rds asks her if she

knows me, I'll jail you for contempt."