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A PERFECT DAY
Category:
Bloke Jokes
Rating:
2.00
Contributor:
rettoc
 JOKE TEXT


A PERFECT DAY - FOR HER
>
>8.15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
>8.30 Weigh in 2Kg lighter than yesterday.
>8.45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants open
>presents - expensive Jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner.
>9.15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil.
>10.00 Light work out at club with handsome funny personal trainer.
>10.30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry.
>12.00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe.
>12.45 Catch sight of husband/boyfriend's ex and notices she has gained
>17kg.
>
>1.00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit.
>3.00 Nap.
>4.00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer.
>4.15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle
>hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body.
>5.30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full
>length mirror.
>7.30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
>received from other diners/dancers.
>10.00 Hot shower (alone).
>10:50 Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen).
>11.00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
>11.15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
>
>
>THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM
>
>6.00 Alarm.
>6.15 Blow job.
>6.30 Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section.
>7.00 Breakfast: rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked,
>buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
>7.30 Limo arrives.
>7.45 Several Beers en-route to airport.
>9.15 Flight in personal Lear Jet.
>9.30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route).
>9.45 Play front nine - 2 under.
>11.45 Lunch - Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon.
>12.15 Blow job.
>12.30 Play back nine - 4 under.
>2.15 Limo back to the airport (Several Bourbons).
>2.30 Fly to Cairns.
>3.30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who
>also bend over a lot displaying growlers.
>4.30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle.
>5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over.
>naturally).
>6.45 Shit, Shower and Shave.
>7.00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated; cannabis legalised.
>7.30 Dinner: lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet
>steak
>followed by Ice-cream served on a big pair of boobs.
>9.00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you
>watch
>match of the day.
>9.30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies... some bending
>over).
>11.00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing ale.
>11.30 A night cap blow job.
>11.45 In bed alone.
>11.50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to
>leave the room.
>


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