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TIPS FROM EMPLOYEES TO THEIR MANAGERS
Category:
Office Jokes
Rating:
0
Contributor:
rettoc
 JOKE TEXT


TIPS FROM EMPLOYEES TO THEIR MANAGERS
>1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4pm and then bring it in to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing..
>2. If it's a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how I am doing. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me every keystroke.
>3. Always leave without telling anyone where you are going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
>4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training.
>5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the
>priority. I am psychic.
>6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have
>nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
>7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
>8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations.
>9. I was born to bew hipped.
>10. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with
>useful information.
>11. Never introduce me to people you are with. I have no right to know
>anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to
>them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
>12. Be nice to me only when the job I am doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.
>13. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any, and its nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes
>on the bonus cheque you received for being such a good manager.
>14. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goal SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase.. I'm not here for the
>money anyway.


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