>Number 5
>
>A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes
>into her breast. They are both quite startled.
>
>The man turns to her and says "Ma'am,if your heart is as soft as your
>breast, I know you'll forgive me."
>She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
>
>******************************************************
>
>Number 4
>
>A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman. He
>notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics.
>He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book.
>It says that American Indians have the longest penises and Greek men are
>the best in bed. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
>"Tonto Papadopoulos, nice to meet you."
>
>*******************************************************
>
>Number 3
>
>One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his
>wife's arm.
>The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist
>appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
>The husband, rejected, turns over.
>A few minutes later, he rolls backover and taps his wife again. "Do you
>have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
>
>*******************************************************
>
>Number 2
>
>Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number
>of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had
>terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle
>slicer.
>His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it,
>but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the
>compulsion on his own.
>One day a few weeks later, Bill came home. His wife could see at once that
>something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong. Bill?" she asked.
>"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my
>penis into the pickle slicer?"
>"Oh, Bill, you didn't."
>"Yes, I did."
>"My God, Bill, what happened?"
>"I got fired."
>"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
>"Oh...she got fired too."
>
>*******************************************************
>
>Number 1
>
>A couple had been married for 50 years.
>
>They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says,
>"Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table
>together."
>"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as
>jaybirds fifty years ago."
>"Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times."
>Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
>"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples
>are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
>"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your tea and the
>other is in your porridge."