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Top cricket sledges
Category:
Sports Jokes
Rating:
0
Contributor:
nutter
 JOKE TEXT


Top sledges:
> >
> >When Australia toured New Zealand a few years back and Blair Pocock was
> >opening the batting for the Kiwis. Having played and missed at a couple
> he
> >was then approached by Mark Waugh from slip. Waugh pointed at Pocock and
> >said "oh yeah, I remember you, you toured Australia a couple of years
> ago.
> >You were shit then too." Pocock then proceeded to hit the next ball for
> >four and pointed at Waugh and said "oh yeah, I remember you too, you had
> >that fucking ugly old girlfriend ... and then you went and married her
> you
> >dumb cunt."
> >
> >Glenn McGrath (to Otto Brandes, tubby South African no.11, after a 85mph
> >delivery whistles past OB's chin) : "Why are you so fat?"
> >OB : Because every time I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit.
> >
> >During Australia's last tour of South Africa it was rumoured that Daryll
> >Cullinan had been consulting a psychologist to exorcise the demons that
> >appeared whenever Warne removed his hat.
> >No sooner had Cullinan arrived at the crease than Warne snarled: "I'm
> >going to send you straight back to your shrink."
> >
> >An English county bowler was having surprising success against the great
> >West Indian Viv Richards, who'd played and missed at several balls.
> >Foolishly, the bowler piped up: "Hey Viv, its red and its round." A
> >steaming Richards cracked the next ball into another postcode and told
> the
> >bowler," Hoy mon. You know what it looks like - go fetch it."
> >
> >Merv Hughes was being Merv, aiming constant abuse at English batsman
> Robin
> >Smith. But having been told that he "couldn't bat to save his fucking
> >life", Smith smashed a four, walked down the pitch and said: "Make a
good
> >pair, don't we? I can't fucking bat and you can't fucking bowl."
> >
> >Sledging can be plain amusing. Its unlikely Merv Hughes was thinking
> >tactically when he told a struggling English batsmen: "I'll bowl you a
> >fucking piano, ya Pommie poofter. Let's see if you can play that."
> >
> >During a WSC final at the SCG where the game had been shortened due to
> >rain and the atmosphere was running at about 95% humidity a very
> exhausted


> >Arjuna Ranatunga appealed that he had "sprained" something. He duly
asked
> >the umpire for a runner. As clear as a bell through the effects mic you
> >heard Healey's legendary reply "you don't get a runner for being an
> >overweight, unfit, fat cunt".


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