Why is a christmas tree better than a bloke?................
>Its always erect,
>It stays up 12 days and nights,
>Has cute balls,and looks good WITH the lights on.
>
>
>
>A WOMENS PRAYER.
>As you lay me down to mate,
>Dont prematurely ejaculate,
>But if you come before i do,
>I pray your tongue will see me through.
>AMEN.
>
>
>
>NIKE have just announced their latest footwear range, targeted at
>lesbians, the NIKE Dyke has an extra long tongue and you can get them
>off with one finger.
>
>
>
>Paddy found some durex in his daughters bedroom.
>He said sweet bejezus shes 16 years old and i didn't even know she had a
>cock.
>
>
>Man says to wife, I fancy some kinky sex.
>How about I come in your ear?
>Wife says: No, I might go deaf !
>Man says: Ive been cummin in your mouth for 20 years and your still
>fucking talking !!
>
>
>Women are just like orange juice cartons,
>Its not the shape or size that matters or even how sweet the juice is,
>Its getting those fucking flaps to open !!
>
>
>There is
>Hot-Sex
>Hard-Sex
>Fast-Sex
>Group-Sex
>Safe-Sex
>Leather-Sex
>Wet-Sex
>Telephone-Sex,
>and for people with a face like yours
>theres......................Masturbation !!
>
>
>
>Pulled a bird last night !
>She unzipped my flies and started playing with my dick......
>I said " You handle that well ! "
>She said " I should do, I use to have one ! "
>
>
>Guy lying in hospital bed..........
>" Hows about a kiss nurse"
>" No" says the nurse,
>"Go on just one kiss",
>" No" says the nurse,
>" Please, just one"
>" No" says the nurse " I should't even be giving you a wank"
>
>
>What do you call a group of women in a field of vibrators ???
>SQUATTERS.
>
>
>A lesbian went to the doctor for a smear test,
>He said " wow this is the cleanest vagina I have ever seen",
>Lesbian says " Well I do have a women in twice a week".!!!
>
>
>Big Aussie going down the road with a sheep under each arm.
>Meets a mate who says, "G'day mate. Ya shearing ?
>"Nah", says the Aussie, "Gonna fuck em both meself" !!!
>