How to shower like a woman:
> >
> >* Get in shower.
> >
> >* Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
> >stone.
> >
> >* Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
> >
> >* Wash hair again to make sure it is clean. Condition hair with
> >grapefruit mint
> > conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15
> >minutes.
> >
> >* Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until
> red.
> >
> >* Wash entire rest of body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash.
> >
> >* Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet
> surfaces
> >in
> > shower, spray mould spots with Tilex. Get out off shower. Dry with
> >towel the
> > size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
> >
> >* Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs. Return to bedroom wearing
> >long
> > dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way,
> >cover
> > any exposed areas.
> >
> >
> >
> >How To Shower Like A Man:
> >
> >* Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.
> >
> >* Leave in a pile.
> >
> >* Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake knob
> >at
> > her making woo-hoo sound.
> >
> >* Look at manly physique in the mirror. Admire size of your knob and
> >scratch
> > your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
> >
> >* Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Make
> >fart noises
> > (real or artificial ) and laugh at how loud they sound in the
> shower.
> >
> >* Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash
> >your bum
> > leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap. Shampoo hair. Make
> >shampoo mohawk.
> >
> >* Pee.
> >
> >* Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry-off. Fail to notice
> >water on floor.
> >
> >* Admire knob size in mirror again.
> >
> >* Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to
> >bedroom with
> > towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at
> >her and make
> > woo-hoo noise again.
> >
> >* Throw wet towel on bed.