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HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCOS
Category:
Husband Jokes
Rating:
5.00
Contributor:
nobhead
 JOKE TEXT


Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her
husband or boyfriend along shopping

This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a
customer in Oxford:


Dear Mrs. Murray,

Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use
of the
Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is
considering
banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your
husband
stops his antics.

Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all
verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
feminine
products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
tone, 'Code
3' in housewares..... and watched what happened..

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing
department and told
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor
gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help
him, he
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me
alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as
a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.

9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in
the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants
were.

10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly
humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.

11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna
look' using
different size funnels.

12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,
yelled
'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, assumed
the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices
again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
a while;
then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'


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