A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he cant believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.
Excuse me do I know you? he asks. Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids she says.
The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says F***ing hell are you the bird I shagged on me stag do, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my arse?
No she replies Im your sons English teacher!