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Purina dog food
Category:
Wrinklies Jokes
Rating:
3.00
Contributor:
dawn
 JOKE TEXT


Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet
and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that
no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet
again.

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I
ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2
stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that
the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina
nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel
hungry.

The food is nutritionally complete so it works well
and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here
that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with
my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in
intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her
no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse
and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the Co-op.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.



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