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Bloke Jokes

Redneck Olympics

Skipping Rocks
The oldest and most traditional of all Redneck games.
The heavy-weight division is most popular, as contestants
try to skip bricks.

Originated by an ancient Redneck trying to clean his yard.
A great fling is not only a beautiful thing to
watch, but often it is accompanied by the exciting
sound of something breaking.

Not the most popular sport because most Rednecks
agree that,
"If you can't afford a motor, you can't afford a boat."

Long Jump
This sport is a Redneck favorite, since they all own numerous sets
of jumper cables and all their
vehicles have dead or dying batteries.

Hog Calling
The good ones can bring a sow into Times Square using only their voice.
The great ones are often victims of sexual assault by live pork.

We're not talking about anything as sissy as following a blood trail.
A good tracker can trail a grasshopper down the interstate.
A favorite put down in this sport is,
"You couldn't track a slug across a sheet of glass."

Field Hockey
Who can run the farthest through a cow pasture without stepping
in "you know what." A real exciting game when played at night with flashlights.

Bush Hogging For Distance
Put her in drive and hold on tight! A blatant disregard for
personal property is an essential for this game.

2x4 Relay
Originated at night on construction sites by people looking
to enlarge their homes at budget prices.

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