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Why Girls Take So Long In Public Toilets
Category:
Women Jokes
Rating:
0
Contributor:
D Harris
 JOKE TEXT


Why Girls Take So Long In Public Toilets


When you need to visit a public loo there is invariably a line of women
waiting, you smile politely and take your place in the line, it finally gets
to your turn, you check for feet under the cubicle doors.


Every cubicle is occupied.


But eventually a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman
leaving the cubicle.


You get in to find the door won't lock. It doesnıt matter, the wait has
been so long and you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the
modern "seat covers" is handy, but empty. You would hang your bag on the
door hook if there was one, but there isnıt so you carefully, but quickly
drape it around your neck, yank down your pants and assume "the position".
In this position your ageing, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You
would love to sit down, but you certainly hadnıt taken time to wipe the seat
or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "the position".


To take your mind off your trembling thighs for a moment you reach for the
toilet paper dispenser and your worst nightmare itıs empty, the toilet roll
dispenser is empty. You hover looking around in the hope there's a new roll
behind you no such luck. Your thighs start to shake more. Then you remember
the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday the one thatıs still in
your handbag, which is now burning your neck & shoulders with the weight. So
you contort your arm into a very unnatural position and start to fumble
around in the deep dark depths of your handbag for that small crumpled used
tissue no bigger than your thumbnail.


Someone pushes your door cubicle door and because the latch doesn't work the
door hits your head, which is bent forward from you holding your bag around
your neck while you are rummaging for that used tissue, the door takes you
by surprise and you start to lose your balance and topple backwards.
"Occupied!" you scream, as you reach to push the door shut and drop the
precious, tiny, crumpled tissue you had only just managed to retrieve with
your index finger into an 'unknown' puddle on the floor.


If that isn't enough you lose your balance altogether or just give up and...
sit down ... directly onto the TOILET SEAT.


Yes - it's wet! You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.


Your thighs and bottom have made contact with every imaginable germ & life
form that lives on the uncovered seat.
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused
that it flushes, propelling a stream of cold water like a fire hose into the
bowl which causes a spray of fine mist that completely covers your bum and
runs downs your legs along with all the various life forms and down into
your dishevelled pants which have now dropped to your ankles with your hems
soaking up that puddle from the floor.


The flush seems to suck everything down with such force that you grab onto
the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.


At this point you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet
toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe your self with a piece of
gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to
the sinks.


You cannot figure out how to operate the tap, so run your hands underneath
it grateful for the two drops of water there and around the basin itself.
You go to the towel dispenser past the line of women still waiting, where of
course there are no paper towels so you move onto the hand blower, which yes
you've guessed it that doesn't work either!


You're no longer able to smile politely to the women, but there's an
unspoken understanding between you all.


A kind soul at the very end of the line of women points out that you have a
piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. Where was that when you
NEEDED IT??? You yank the paper from your shoe, plonk it in the woman's
hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this".


As you exit you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left
the men's. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your
handbag hanging around your neck?"


This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public loos. It also
helps explain to the men why it really does take us women so long and it
also answers that commonly asked question why do women always go to the loos
in pairs?


It's so your friend can hold the door, hang onto your bag and pass you
tissue under the door!



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