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DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
Category:
Women Jokes
Rating:
0
Contributor:
D Harris
 JOKE TEXT


>> >>>>>DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>40-ish - 49

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Adventurous - Slept with everyone

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Athletic - No tits

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Average looking - Ugly

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Beautiful - Pathological liar

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Emotionally secure - On medication

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Feminist - Fat

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Free spirit - Junkie

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Fun - Annoying

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>New Age - Body hair in the wrong places

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Open-minded - Desperate

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Passionate - Sloppy drunk

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Professional - Bitch

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Voluptuous - Very Fat

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Large frame - Hugely Fat

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>Wants Soul mate - Stalker

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>1. Yes = No

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>2. No = Yes

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>3. Maybe = No

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>4. We need = I want

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>7. Sure, go ahead = you'd better not

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think

>> about?

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>MEN'S ENGLISH

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>1. I am hungry = I am hungry

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>3. I am tired = I am tired

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>5. I love you = let's have sex now

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with

>> you

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>And finally.....

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>A recent scientific study found that women find

>> >>>>>different male faces attractive depending on where they are in

>> their

>> >>>>>menstrual cycle.

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a

>> >>>>>man with rugged, masculine features.

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man

>> >>>>>doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye

>> and a

>> >>>>>cricket stump shoved up his backside.

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>NOW SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN

>> >>>>>

>> >>>>>WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR !!!!



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