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Gotta Be Over 40 to Understand
Job Jokes
D Harris

Gotta Be Over 40 to Understand
>Mum used to cut chicken, slice eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting
>board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didnt get food poisoning.
>My Mum used to defrost mince-meat on the kitchen sink, AND I used to eat a
>bit raw sometimes too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper, in
>a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I cant remember anybody
>getting e.coli.
>Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a
>pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.
>The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a
>pager was the school PA system.
>We all played sport, and also did PE… and risked permanent injury with a
>pair of Dunlop runners (only worn in the gym or the sports ground) instead
>of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built-in
>light reflectors. I cant recall any injuries but they must have happened,
>because they tell us how much safer we are now…
>Flunking sport was not an option…even for stupid kids! There were not many
>fat kids.
>Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the National Anthem and
>got free school milk for strong bones and teeth, and staying in detention
>after school caught all sorts of negative attention. We even got the strap
>if we were really bad and no teacher went to jail for it, and if youre
>parents found out you got another clip in the ear when you got home.
>We must have had horribly damaged psyches.
>What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours
>wore a hat and everything, and she could even give you an aspirin for a
>headache or fever.
>I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed
>to be proud of myself. I just cant recall how bored we were without
>computers, Play Stations, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.
>Oh yeah…and where was the Benadryl and sterilization when I got that bee
>sting? I could have been killed!
>We played king of the castle on piles of gravel left on vacant
>construction sites, and when we got hurt Mum pulled out the 48 cent bottle
>of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didnt sting like iodine
>did), then we got our hair ruffled and got told to get back out there! Now
>its a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10 day dose of a $49
>bottle of antibiotics, then Mum calls the Solicitor to sue the contractor
>for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat!
>We didnt misbehave at the mates house either, because if we did, we got
>our bum smacked there, and then we got our bum belted again when we got
>home. I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his
>tricks on the front veranda, just before he fell off. Little did his Mum
>know that she could have owned our house? Instead she picked him up and
>swatted him for being such a yobbo.
>To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were
>from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that we
>needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were
>obviously so duped by so many social ills that we didnt even notice that
>the entire country wasnt taking Prozac! How did we ever survive!

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