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Job Jokes


A bloke goes into the employment office in Melbourne for a look through the job vacancies, which doesn't take him very long, of course. Then, just as he's about to give up and go away, he spots something.

"Wanted", it says. "Single man, willing to travel, must have own scissors. $1,500 a week guaranteed, plus company car and all expenses."

Well, it sounds a bit too good to be true, so the bloke makes a note of the reference number and fronts up at the counter.

"I'd like to apply for this job", he says, "reference number E/784/B46-OP1737AZR2D2."

Oh, that one," says the clerk. "It's a model agency right here in Melbourne. They're looking for a pubic hair snipper. You see, they supply girls who model underwear and bathers, and before they go on the catwalk they report to you and you have to snip off any wisps of pubic hair that are showing. It pays well, but there are a few drawbacks. It involves quite a lot of travel. The Bahamas, Tahiti, Paris, London, that sort of thing, and you have to get used to living in first-class hotels........"

"I reckon I could learn to live with it," says the bloke. "I'd really like to apply for the job."

The clerk shrugs and says, "OK, here's an application form and a rail ticket to Ballarat".

"Ballarat?" exclaims the bloke. "Balla-bloody-rat? What do I wanna go to Ballarat for?"

"Well", says the clerk, "that's where the end of the queue is at the moment."

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