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An Ozzie
Category:
Drink Jokes
Rating:
0
Contributor:
nutter
 JOKE TEXT


An Ozzie , a Kiwi and an Englishman are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a
smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and
arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi
Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the
booze, they are all sentenced to death!



However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they are
able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a
stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial
finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be
released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.



As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of
you one wish before your whipping."
The Kiwi was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please
tie a pillow to my back. This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10
lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to
be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.



The Englishman was next up. After watching the Kiwi in horror he said
smugly:
"Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take
15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Englishman was soon
led away whimpering loudly (as they do).



The Ozzie was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh
turned to him and said:
"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of
the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"



"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness",The Ozzie replied. "In
recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but
100 lashes."



"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also
very brave".
The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what
you desire, then so be it, and your second wish, what is it to be?" the
Sheikh asked.



"Tie the Englishman to my back."



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