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Kids Jokes

> Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
> Why did God make mothers?
> 1. She's the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.
> 2. Mostly to clean the house.
> 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
> How did God make mothers?
> 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
> 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
> 3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
> What ingredients are mothers made of ?
> 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
> 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
> Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mum?
> 1. We're related.
> 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's Mums like me.
> What kind of little girl was your Mum?
> 1. My Mum has always been my Mum and none of that other stuff.
> 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
> 3. They say she used to be nice.
> What did Mum need to know about Dad before she married him?
> 1. His last name..
> 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
> 3. Does he make at least 800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
> Why did your Mum marry your Dad?
> 1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.
> 2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
> 3. My Grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.
> Who's the boss at your house?
> 1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such an idiot.
> 2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
> 3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.
> What's the difference between Mums & Dads?
> 1. Mums work at work and work at home and Dads just go to work at work.
> 2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
> 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
> 4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
> What does your Mum do in her spare time?
> 1. Mothers don't have spare time.
> 2. To hear her talk, she pays bills all day long.
> What would it take to make your Mum perfect?
> 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
> 2. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.
> If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?
> 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
> 2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
> 3. I would like her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

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