Offensive Jokes Logo
Offensive Jokes LOL
Offensive Jokes
Offensive Jokes
Offensive Jokes
Offensive Jokes Add an Offensive Joke Top Offensive Jokes Latest Offensive Jokes Search for Offensive Jokes Contact Offensive Jokes
Offensive Jokes Categories
Login
Register
Bloke Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Cartoons
Drink Jokes
Essex Jokes
Fat Jokes
Footy Jokes
Funny News
Funny Quotes
Girly Jokes
Golf Jokes
Husband Jokes
Irish Jokes
Job Jokes
Kids Jokes
Love Jokes
Mad Jokes
Medical Jokes
Office Jokes
One Liners
Pet Jokes
Photo Jokes
Police Jokes
Political Jokes
Religious Jokes
Sex Jokes
Sports Jokes
Wife Jokes
Women Jokes
Wrinklies Jokes
 

Joke Stuff

About Offensive Jokes 
Terms & Conditions 
 
Subscribe to our newletter.

Bookmark with;   Bookmark to: Digg   Bookmark to: Del.icio.us   Bookmark to: Facebook   Bookmark to: StumbleUpon   Bookmark to: Google   Bookmark to: Twitter

Makes one proud to be British
Category:
Office Jokes
Rating:
0
Contributor:
giuseppe
 JOKE TEXT


This was sent from Thomas Cook Holidays - listing some of the British guests' complaints during the season. (Survey by Thomas Cook and ABTA)

"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

"On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

"The beach was too sandy."

"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room, but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."





No Image




Sitemap
Copyright Offensive Jokes 2006