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This should make you smile
Category:
Wrinklies Jokes
Rating:
0
Contributor:
vito
 JOKE TEXT


SERENITY


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker

came up to the elderly widow and asked,

'How old was your husband?'

'98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me'

'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.

'Hardly worth going home, is it?' she responded.




Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:

'And what do you think is the best thing

About being 104?' the reporter asked..

She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'








I've sure gotten old!

I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,

New knees, and fought prostate cancer

I'm half blind,

Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

Take 40 different medications that

Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.

Have bouts with dementia.

Have poor circulation.

Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.

Have lost all my friends But, thank God,

I still have my driver's license.




I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

So I got my doctor's permission to

Join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down,

and perspired for an hour. But.....

By the time I got my leotards on,

The class was over.








My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.




Know how to prevent sagging?

Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.




It's scary when you start making the same noises

As your coffee maker.




These days about half the stuff

In my shopping cart says,

' For fast relief.'


THE SENILITY PRAYER :

Grant me the senility to forget the people

I never liked anyway,

The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and

The eyesight to tell the difference.



Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others.
Oh
heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!

Always Remember This:

You don't stop laughing because you grow old,

You grow old because you stop laughing!!





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