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Ronnie Barker
Sex Jokes

Try and read this one.

This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all
this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes).

Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too
much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not
wetting your pants] as you read ...

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very
hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she
was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary
Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had
fetty sweet and fatty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton
runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy
Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking
cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother
told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity. At the
ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve.
Mist all chucking frighty!!! said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so
dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercellas door and the sugly
isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig
bart. Whos fust jarted?? asked the prandsome hince. Blame that fugly ucker over there!!
said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both
the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was ducking
fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had
bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted
pucking ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his
life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!

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